Monthly Archives: November 2006
Mediocre Christmas Music
I went looking for more bad Christmas music, but after a while I gave that up and just decided to put these two up. They aren’t really terrible, they’re just really, really not that good.
Xtina’s Xmas – Christina Aguilera
What is there to say about this? It is filler from her Christmas album. It barely has lyrics, which is good because the vocals are intermittent. It is faux-edgy and faux-hip hip. I don’t understand what possessed this young woman to put this recording on an album, but she did, so here it is.
Little Drummer Boy – 98 Degrees
Hey, let’s take a third tier boy band, give them tranquilizers, and then record a Christmas album. Nick Lachey and crew seemingly sleepwalked their way through their Christmas CD and this song is typical. Note that the instrumentation at the beginning is reminiscent of the infinitely superior Bing Crosby/David Bowie version. It is as if the producers wanted to remind you of what you could be listening to instead of this.
Finally, I don’t want you guys to get too excited, but I will post my all-time favorite bad Christmas song tomorrow. In my opinion, it tops all of these. I love it to bits, but it is bad, bad, bad. Feel free to guess what it is (unless you are Supergenius, Ronan, or someone else who already knows). A legitimate correct answer will earn…um…bragging rights and a genuine, oddball Christmas mix-cd from me (which will feature none of the bad music entries).
Even more bad Christmas music
Is it wrong to crush the dreams of a child? To mock the innocent? To laugh at the failures of the young? Then I am wrong…
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth – The Countdown Kids
It’s not that I hate children. I have two and they are a lot of fun to be around. What I do hate is the exploitation of children and, even worse, the exploitation of children to make bad music. Sure there is a cute factor, but little children singing are like little puppies pooping in your shoes; it is only cute when it is your child/dog. But the producers of this particular version of this song have forgotten what it is that makes this novelty work: the child is supposed to lisp. The child who sings this version doesn’t lisp, they instead have trouble pronouncing their el’s. Typical of children, especially when those children have been told to sing like babies, but it ruins the joke. So, the producers took a funny song and tried to make it into a cute song and the end result is a bad song. I formally apologize for bringing it up.
Next Cinemasochist Theme
Sob.
The next Cinemasochist theme: Santa.
yo-ho-oh-lord-no. What’s the worst movie with Santa?
Name These Cowbell Songs
I’ve spliced together clips of songs to see how many you can all identify. This week’s clips are all songs by Irish artists. A few of these are rather obscure and might be a little tough.
I’ll give you a day or two to make your guesses, then I’ll post the answers. There are clips from 12 songs this time.
Feel free to list other Irish artists I may have left off, curious if you guys can think of any I forgot.
Song clips are in the radio.blog: “Name These Irish Songs”
NOTE: You might want to listen and make your guesses before reading the comments, or other people’s guesses might spoil your fun.
UPDATE: I’ll paste the answers in down below. If you haven’t had a chance to make your guesses, don’t click on the “more” link until you have!
Read the rest of this entry
More Bad Christmas Music
O Holy Night – Prism
In so far as I can figure it out, Prism is a Canadian Christian band. As such, I personally hold Supergenius responsible for this travesty. However, one cannot say that purchasers of Prism’s album, Green, were fooled by clever marketing ploys. Take a look at the cover and tell me if you don’t agree that they sound exactly how you would expect them to.
When I was a bit younger, I used to joke with my friends that I was the whitest boy in America, because I could take any soul or hip hop song and make it white. I must now concede my title to the people at Prism who took a Christmas hymn and tried to make it hip by giving it a reggae beat. As a result, they somehow made it whiter. Once again, I firmly blame this on Canada. Don “No Soul” Simmons couldn’t have done better.
Heroes recap: "Six Months Ago"
Writing this in REAL TIME, people!
NBC says:
As the clock turns back six months for all of the “Heroes,” Mohinder’s father Chandra Suresh (guest star Erick Avari) arrives in New York to begin his quest to find individuals with extraordinary abilities, and meets someone all to eager to be special. Peter celebrates his graduation from nursing school, and learns that Nathan plans to prosecute a case that could mean trouble for the entire Petrelli family. A surprise visit from her father brings out the worst in Niki. Hiro attempts to be a hero and change the future for someone important. Claire joins the cheerleading squad and makes a curious discovery. H.R.G. and the Haitian meet someone special.
INteresting! I sure like that waitress, I hope he saves her. Read the rest of this entry
Bad Christmas music
This week, I’m doing a series on bad Christmas music. Why? I’m not sure myself. Perhaps it is the fact that a local radio station began playing non-stop Christmas music on Halloween. One can’t do that without using a lot of bad Christmas music.
In fact, bad Christmas music is so ubiquitous that many people have been turned off of Christmas music entirely. This is a bad, bad thing. Christmas music should be taken in small doses, but it can be wonderful (I may do a good Christmas music series next week to try and prove my point). In any case, I want to purge the bad Christmas music feelings early. Read the rest of this entry
Name These Irish Songs
I’ve spliced together clips of songs to see how many you can all identify. This week’s clips are all songs by Irish artists. A few of these are rather obscure and might be a little tough.
I’ll give you a day or two to make your guesses, then I’ll post the answers. There are clips from 12 songs this time.
Feel free to list other Irish artists I may have left off, curious if you guys can think of any I forgot.
Song clips are in the radio.blog: “Name These Irish Songs”
NOTE: You might want to listen and make your guesses before reading the comments, or other people’s guesses might spoil your fun.
UPDATE: I’ll paste the answers in down below. If you haven’t had a chance to make your guesses, don’t click on the “more” link until you have!
Read the rest of this entry
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